Ranch is the sauce version of Drake.
Let me explain. I remember ordering a Domino’s pizza about a year ago, and my wife whispering in my ear while I was on the phone “don't forget the ranch” (kinda sexy tbh). Obviously Domino’s forgot the ranch, subsequently ruining my wife's evening. But that night it hit me, WHAT IS IT ABOUT RANCH?! WHAT IS RANCH EVEN?! A SAUCE? A SALAD DRESSING?!
What is ranch?!
Many consider it a salad dressing. In fact, back in 2019 40% of Americans said it was their favourite salad dressing (sorry Caesar), as per a survey by the Association for Dressings and Sauces. But a pizza isn’t a salad, so is ranch really a salad dressing?! Is there such a thing as pizza dressing?! The whole thing was fascinating to me so I immediately did two things: first I started developing our own Smoke Show Jalapeño Ranch whilst in parallel digging deep into the world of ranch, it’s origin story and how it became a USD $1B industry, surpassing Ketchup as millennials’ favourite condiment, according to a survey by Adage. (Wait, so now it’s a condiment? Is a salad dressing a condiment!? Is Ketchup a salad dressing? Nothing seemed to make sense anymore). WHAT THE F*CK IS RANCH!?
Is it ranch sauce or ranch dressing? Here is a history lesson.
One thing is for sure, we owe a lot to a man by the name of Steve Henson. Long story short, in 1949, this absolute pioneer moved from Nebraska to Alaska where he worked as a plumbing contractor. Always trying to keep his employees happy and well fed, he came up with a salad dressing to get them eating their vegetables. After retiring at the age of 35 (it seems becoming a plumbing contractor in Alaska in the 40s was a good call), he moved to Santa Barbara, California with his lady. After quickly becoming bored as a 35 year old retiree, he bought a Ranch named (you guessed it) Hidden Valley and decided he would feature his secret salad dressing on the restaurant menu for his guests to enjoy. Which they did, a lot! Fast forward about 2 decades, Henson would eventually sell his sauce business to Clorox (yes, the bleach company) for $8M allowing him to retire young, again.
Here is why Ranch is the sauce version of Drake.
Today, it’s quite clear that ranch is much more than the salad dressing it was originally designed to be. Allow me to make the following analogy. In 2001, a Toronto born actor named Aubrey Graham made his debut on a medium-sized Canadian teen drama called Degrassi: The Next Generation. 21 years later, a musician by the name of Drake, worth over $100M is flying around the world, probably with many supermodels, in his own jet, maybe even eating some ranch, although he seems to be more of a hot sauce guy. My point is nobody can pin-point what Drake really is. Is he an Actor? Is he a rapper? Is he an R&B singer? Is he a businessman? Entertainer? Clearly a man of endless talent, how unfair it would be to pigeonhole him into one of these meaningless classifications. The same goes for ranch. Like Drake, everything ranch does, it does well. Salad dressing, condiment, sauce, topping or dip. I’ve come to realize that ultimately WHO CARES, its in a league of it's own, and it will forever be.
When ranch doesn’t show up with our Dominos, it upsets my wife. Hypothetically, if Drake were to cancel a concert she was going to, it would also upset my wife. Therefore, they are the same, right?!
Ranch is just ranch - Drake is just Drake. There are no substitutes. So with that, and on behalf of the whole Smoke Show team, we wish you a Happy National Ranch Day. Raise your ranch to the late Mr. Henson and to Mr. Aubry Graham, and let us rejoice knowing that in a world that may sometimes seem dark or bleak, Ranch and Drake will always be there for us.
Want to try our take on ranch? Shop Smoke Show Jalapeño Ranch.
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